1-800-KRYPTON

June 10 2009, 2:57pm

Me: “Dispatch, how may I help you?” Caller: “Yes, I have an alarm going off.” Me: “Okay, do you happen to have an account number?” Caller: “No, I moved into this house five years ago and inherited the alarm system.” Me: “Alright, address?” Caller: gives address Me: “Sir, I didn’t receive any notifications. Can you hold for a few minutes while I confirm with our other station?” Caller: “I guess…” (I call our other station, they tell me they have no record of the alarm.) Me: “Sir?” Caller: “Yes, yes, what?!” Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Is the alarm still going off?” Caller: “Yes, can’t you hear? Listen, I am a very important lawyer and I demand you turn this alarm off!” Me: “Sir, our alarms reset in ten–” Caller: “No, you listen to me, you little s***! I’d better not miss my meetings because you can’t turn off this alarm!” (I hear the alarm getting louder and I’m pretty sure he can’t hear me, so…) Me: “SON OF JOR-EL! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD!” (The alarm in the background shuts off.) Caller: “Oh wow! Thank you! Thank you so much!” Me: “No problem, sir!”